things they don't tell you about the SGC

In S4 of SGA, Rodney for some odd reason makes off with Ronon's wallart. Why? A few ideas, and an interlude with Jack O'Neill.
Why Steal the Art?
1. He painted it himself, and wanted it to be exhibited with the other works from his 'psychotic warrior' period.

2. Ronon painted it, and Rodney secretly already sold it on eBay, so the whole leaving-Atlantis thing was really fortuitous, actually.

3. Teyla painted it of Ronon, Rodney, and John showing off their new bondage gear. Rodney fears blackmail.

4. Under Canadian law, he's allowed to dispose of the possessions of his legal spouse.

5. Secretly, bad art soothes Rodney's troubled soul. His room in Atlantis? Is rapidly acquiring a layer of black velvet, the true horror of which will be revealed in 4-14 'Hound Dog', wherein it is discovered that the one thing that defeats the Wraith surer than Replicants is the King himself. Rodney makes a noble sacrifice.

Things They Don't Tell You About the SGC

Okay, he'd have liked to know about the whole aliens trying to kill us shit before he left Normal for Weird Fucking Space. He'd really have liked to have back his firm belief in death after life, because he's seen far too much horror in the grey inbetween, people dying and then coming back and then doing it again.

He'd really hoped to get through his life as a happy agnostic. Thanks to the SGC, he's met the gods, and they are real assholes.

But mostly it's the little things. The sand in the boots. The meals in plastic. The having to smile at people you don't trust. Having to shoot people — well, bipeds, anyway.

And the salary, frankly, sucks. No one's making a profit off of saving the world. The SGC car park is full of beat-up junkers; he's heard that on Atlantis, John Sheppard's had to teach the Marines to knit — first, because they went through socks like Wraith through a funfair, but then because they made quite a killing with their colourful hats and things at offworld bazaars.

But it was worse for the foreigners, especially, say, those with expensive national healthcare schemes and generous pension plans and high rates of taxation. Apparently, it was possible for, say, a Canadian to live in Atlantis and go into debt just getting necessities brought over on the Daedalus.

Jack O'Neill looked at his computer, looked at his very nice blue ceiling, and looked back. Nope, the nifty Athosian chirai wood carving of the Goddess Gbaan was still there, although there had been three more bids in the past minute, bringing the price up to 438 Canadian dollars. Top secret alien artifacts! the page heading read.

Jack wanted to retire, get out of the game, but the mortgages on his cabin and house weren't going anywhere soon. He slowly backspaced through the damning message he'd started. He scrolled up, took a deep breath, and clicked.

He figured he could spend two weeks' worth of pizza money on bad art, especially since Rodney McKay (Canadian entrepeneur) looked so damn attractive immortalised in his Athosian bondage leathers.

2 thoughts on “things they don't tell you about the SGC”

  1. Adore the image of all the Marines sitting around with knitting needles, saying, "Wait, damn it! I've messed up this heel again. Could you help me out, sir?" and, "I'll trade you ten counters and two Athosian blue wools for your second set of circular needles," and gossiping. This is for the win.

    *snorts* Psychotic warrior period!

    admin reply on October 8th, 2009:

    I would *love* to see John Sheppard teaching the Marines to knit. I would offer *bribes*. *g* Thank you!

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