And just what did Lupin get up to after R and D?
"The news you need to know,
or so we are told”
In a cowardly attack on every fireplace in Wizarding Britain, the
National Floo Network was hijacked for eight hours yesterday.
Thousands were forced to find other ways of commuting to work, and
persons unable to fire-call overwhelmed the owl post. Anyone
attempting to floo during that period received a parchment reading
"Out of Order" and individual-serving packets of cocoa with
The Minister of Magic said in a press statement shortly before her owl
collapsed, "The terrorists sent us a note explaining that this drastic
action was necessary to fight You-Know-Who, but the Ministry strongly
believes that in fact That Person masterminded the whole thing."
The ongoing joint investigation between the Floo Network Authority and
the Department of Magical Law Enforcement revealed that the floo network
was used extensively during those eight hours, especially to and from
the homes of known Death Eaters and their supporters. Mr Lucius Malfoy
of Strumpet-on-Thames managed to cast a Cutting Hex on one of two
mysterious intruders who made off with a large trunk. "It was only my
wife's winter-weight knickers and a few childhood mementoes," the
enraged Mr Malfoy told the Prophet. Analysis of the criminal's blood
revealed that he was a male lycanthrope.
Investigators are seeking the registered werewolf Remus Lupin (unemployed,
no fixed address), a former associate of escaped criminal Sirius Black,
who was seen leaving the vicinity of the FNA by Muggle Underground mere
minutes after the floo network was restored. Lord Rhymes-with-Ball-in-Court
has many Dark creatures as supporters, including werewolves.
Mr Lupin is considered armed and dangerous. If spotted, please contact
the Werewolf Capture Unit or your nearest Law Office.