Title: Allergy (for Lupin_Snape June 05 Cliche Month)
Category: Cliche (Lupin is in mourning in Grimmauld Place; Snape must draw him out for the good of the Order AND eat this, it makes it better)
Pairing: Snape/Lupin kind of
Disclaimer: I own nothing, JKR everything
Rating: PG-13 for innuendo
"Lupin. I know you're in there. Molly Weasley says she hasn't seen you in days. Not since you came home from… well. Starving yourself will accomplish nothing and deprive the Order of a valuable member. Are you listening, Lupin? I cannot permit this to go on. I only hope that you find me an acceptable substitute.
"Chocolate is dark. I am a dark wizard.
"The best chocolate is also bitter. Have I mentioned my personality?
"Chocolate must be unwrapped to be enjoyed… likewise.
"Chocolate goes all gooey when exposed to your hands or mouth too long. Under certain circumstances, I'm sure the same could be said to apply to me.
"Chocolate is addictive. I certainly have no objections to becoming your next bad habit. And you wouldn't want to take up a good habit, would you? I daresay I would be more decadent than, say, jogging.
"And did I mention that orgasm causes nearly the same chemical reaction in the body as chocolate does? Strange but true. I don't know how many orgasms you would need to replace one bar of chocolate.
"But it certainly is an area open to further research.
"So if you don't mind, Lupin, open this damned door. It's time you returned to the world of the living.
"Chocolate, Lupin. Why would you need chocolate when you can have me?"